life is easy, son. it’s just like riding a bike that’s on fire and you’re on fire and everything is on fire and you’re in hell

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I gave Cooper a chicken nugget so like any normal dog he has just held it in his mouth for the last five minutes.

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via gam-ora

To my sweet daughter,

If you ever begin to wonder if he is the one, ask yourself:

Does his laughter warm your body from the inside out? He knows that when you say two scoops you really mean three, right? Do you dance in his living room while drinking cheap wine? I hope so, and I hope you’re both drunk and terrible and laughing so hard you cry. Does he tell you how beautiful you are, and if yes, does he say it when the morning light falls upon your face? More importantly, when he tells you, do you believe him? Can you cry in front of him? I hope you can, that means you trust him. When it’s pouring rain does he know that if your hair is curled or your eyes are sad that means he should get the car and bring it to you? When he asks what you want for dinner and you say you aren’t hungry, does he ask if you’ve eaten today? And when you say you had breakfast, I hope he knows you don’t eat breakfast, and makes you a bowl of rice, because that’s your favorite comfort food. Does he kiss you good morning? Good night? Just because? Do you know he likes his coffee black? Unless he wants it cooled, then he will probably want some milk in it, but not too much. Do you know when he prefers tea to coffee? I never quite figured that out with your father, so if you have, you’re a better woman than I. Have you figured out where he’s ticklish? Don’t let him convince you he’s not, I promise you he is. Have you frustrated the hell out of him yet? You will, oh you will, but it’s how you two come out of it that matters. And when he said he loved you for the very first time, did you respond by asking if he’s afraid of heights? I hope with my entire soul that he said yes because that means, despite his fear, he fell for you. Now, darling, you tell me, is he the one?


It needed to be framed

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I want a sex and a pregnant

Michael and I are sitting in bed naked and eating popcorn.
Best. Ever.


when you’re horny and your boyfriend isnt


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Every time my hair looks nice cooper tries to destroy it

They make edible glitter so I can now fulfill my life dream of covering everything in glitter


ur not allowed to be busy youre my only friend

(via wereallfuckedontheinside)

I don’t have any close friends to be excited over my engagement with me. I don’t have any close family to share this with either. So when Michael’s family who apparently love me so much didn’t ackowledge it at all, yeah that hurts a lot. You couldn’t send a text or make a phone call.  You couldn’t even like the picture of my ring on facebook. That hurts my feelings so much.

So with that
Fuck yall bitches too

I have no words #dogsofinstagram

tldr michaels family is awful