March 2012
260 posts
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February 2012
119 posts
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I'm taking about $350 worth of clothes that I've...
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I feel like shit. All I want is a bag of archer...
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I have a heating pad shoved down my pants.
“Every time I read an article about conservatives being “pro- life” I am reminded...”
– The ‘Safe, Legal, Rare’ Illusion - NYTimes.com (via octobones)
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.
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Three miles on the treadmill and 1 on the bike...
Greeter: Thanks for shopping with us!
Me: YOU TOO!
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me: i'll do it in five minutes
me: shit, it's been an hour already?
me: i'll do it in five minutes
me: i'm gonna work really hard to get a super hot body
me two minutes later: omg is that cake
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You're a piece of shit friend.
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Paid my bills, poor as fuq.
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Just bought a gym membership at Planet Fitness....
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